Where to begin. The beginning of anything is difficult. Whether it is beginning a new job, a new life, or maybe even a new day. For me, the beginning was a new adventure that I hoped would lead my life into a new and better direction. Up until now my life has not been miserable and I would have to say I have been very blessed with an amazing family and support system. There are millions upon millions of people who have it worse then me. However, for me as the individual, I just got to my breaking point. I could no longer handle the day to day issues that arose, I was not happy and the worst part was I was no longer a person I knew.
Over the course of three years I let people tear me down day in and day out until I lost all of my self-confidence. It seemed like I could not catch a break either that anything that could go wrong would go wrong. I will not go into detail of all that occurred that lead me to where I am now for I honestly do not have enough space to write it all down nor the desire to look back at it. For some time I have been tossing around an idea in my head to leave it all behind and just go. Go anywhere. I don't think I really believed I would actually do what I thought, until one day. I cannot remember when it was exactly but I know I was at my primary job when it happened. Sitting here now I can still feel what I felt that day. The day I knew it all had to change. It was like a freight train rammed into my chest and all I wanted to do was run... and keep on running. It just hit me how unhappy I was that I actually had a pain in my chest and that this is not who I am. When did I loose that confident go get it woman that I used to be? What happened to her? How can I get her back? I wanted to enjoy the things and people around me but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't. I knew without I doubt that I could no longer stay here.
The leaving for me had always been an easy part. I moved from place to place all the time since college but for some reason leaving Charleston was one of the hardest things I have done. It was not because the place itself was so beautiful but instead for the first time I had let myself become friends with the people there. Leaving them was harder than I thought it would be. But it wasn't goodbye. I know that I will see them all again. Even if I didn't want to admit it I have come to call Charleston, SC home.
And so my journey begins....
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